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Find Your Tribe

They say that you are the product of the five people you surround yourself with. We call our five by many names - tribe, squad, friends, besties, family. 

A mentor of mine told me that you know what is important based on how you spend your time. And if you’re spending beaucoup time with your squad, then who they are is important too. By now, we know that we want to keep negative people as far away from our tribe as possible - but just in case - a quick PSA - if you want to be happy, eliminate the gossipers, discouragers, drama queens, and crap-starters from your inner circle. If you’re looking for happiness, don’t surround yourself with people who ooze insecurity or drama. 

Finding the right tribe is really about knowing who you are and projecting your energy out in the world. The Law of Attraction tells us that ‘like’ attracts ‘like’, so the first step in finding a fun, kick-ass tribe is for you to be true to who you are and love yourself. Invest in the things that make you feel like a fun, kick-ass person.  If that means you totally enjoy line dancing, then grab your big hat and belt buckle, and kick up your heels! 

I practice what I preach. Several years ago, after a divorce, I decided to get back to my fitness roots. I had a toddler and getting to the gym was hard, so I bought an at-home program. This program happened to have a Facebook accountability page, so I went there and began posting my workouts along with the hundreds of other people doing the workout. Pretty soon, a small group of us that were on the same program and posting schedule started to bond. Then we stayed in touch. Then we met at a big fitness expo and the rest was history. One of those members is practically my older brother - gives me advice and encouragement all the time.  Another one of the members was the person who inspired me to begin my competition career. And one of the members I married - and my husband Paul and I have been happy ever since. 

I found my tribe through my love fitness and personal development. If I think about my besties, at this very second, they are either working out, reading a new book or article on personal improvement/exercise/nutrition, and plotting on how to take over  the world. (In a good way, of course!) The best part? We lift each other up. We are each other’s support system. We complement each other’s skills and talents. We are each other’s family. 

Do you have the right tribe? The right people around you will: 

  • Give you energy
  • Support your big goals/wacky ideas/lifestyle
  • Complement your personality
  • Want to see you succeed

If you’re hanging out with folks who are not making your positivity meter go off the charts, or you are nervous about sharing your big dreams with them or you just feel ‘meh’ about hanging out, then it might be time to refocus. 1. Examine yourself - are you really being true to who you are? 2. Examine your circle - do they meet the criteria above? 

Life is too short - Find your tribe. Find your happy. 


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